i feel tired, really tired. maybe wednesday.. i feel tired. so.. yesterday i was listening to 1989 #1 songs on youtube, and one of the songs in the video is this song below, and then..

THE PUZZLE FITS.

because i had the tune of the chorus of this song in my head since i-don't-know-when, and it was driving me insane because i wanted to know the title of the song, yet i don't have any lyrics to the song. and then yesterday.. voila!



so yay me! yay '80s songs! :D

Labels: #highondrugs

it's not even deja-vu anymore; it's plain repetition: getting accepted and having a family, then becoming homeless. how does one gain confidence when everytime, yes everytime, high hopes (just hopes even) are dashed and crumpled like a piece of paper and being thrown away just like that?

then it's better to aim for the second storey, no? at least it won't hurt so much when tha plan fails as compared to aiming for the eighth storey, or even the third storey. one falls harder.

maybe that's why i live by the phrase 'aim lower', because seriously, confidence brings me nowhere.

#angstat3.51am it's like poison filled into bubbles flowing undisruptedly in the bloodstream, bursting everytime they brush gently against the inner layer of the tubes.

yet, as the poison seeps into the brain softly, it is treated as a long-lost friend, just waiting to be received as a hero; like a finger prying open stealthily a box containing a land of escapism, where one is simply untouched, where one lives a liberated life, albeit a paradoxically restrained one..

wisps of those pernicious thoughts hover in the air, never disappearing, but intermingled with the air one inhales. it haunts when one is forlorn, knocking lightly, tauntingly, on the locked door which traps one's darkest secrets.


idk what i'm writing, unnnghh sleepy. editing someday. i said that i wanted to step down, but when she asked me why am i running away from problems, i realised that all these while, maybe i've been too dependent on people around me.

get well soon mum :| craaap why did i go to facebook! crap this is depressing. he didn't say anything about leaving. crap, he didn't even say anything! :(

*le sigh*

i just love how charles kelley sings 'tonight'. be still my heart. i really enjoy being with fornax. i don't think i'll forget the times we shared together throughout the five days spent during camp, like the singing sessions we had during dragonboating session and the night expedition; the hard times we faced together like during the night expedition; etc.

so.. let's sing our fornax song! :D and yes, we did get there in the end as a team, so i'm really proud to be among fifteen amazing teammates, plus our two group instructors.

i love you guys! :)